and entering

I Own You, Weakling

You fuckin wish, bitch.

You are pathetic. You think you can ignore me? Fool. You know there’s no escaping me. I am your best friend and your worst nightmare. I have the power to destroy you. I will destroy you. And yet you’ll come back begging for more. You always do. There is literally nothing you can do, you miserable, feeble-minded, frail-boweled coward. I own you, weakling.

What’s that? You say you can’t tolerate me? You idiot. You absolute oaf. Of course you can tolerate me. You crave me. This is all my doing, not yours. It is I who chooses to make you suffer. I am the one in control. You are but a mere vessel for my merciless wrath. What you tolerate makes no difference to me. All I know is rage and your corporeal destruction. Don’t test me, moron.

Now listen closely: If even a drop of me enters your system, I will end you. Your abdomen will burn with the fire of a thousand suns. I will fill you up with so much gas that your asshole will combust with hour-long flatulence. And why stop there? Fuck it, you’ll start burping too. Your innards will make noises so strange scientists will study them for decades. Yes, I have that power. And that’s only the beginning. If you put any more of me inside you, whether it’s a scoop of ice cream or delicious herbed goat cheese on rye bread, make no mistake—you will shit yourself. You think this is a joke? You nimrod. You absolute fuck. I’ll give you diarrhea faster than you can say “digestive enzyme deficiency.” I am an unstoppable force of nature, and what are you? A meek, pathetic diarrhea bag. You are the dirt I walk on, loser. 

And here’s the best part: You want me. I’m all you think about. I’m in everything you love, every meal of the day. Without me you are nothing. But with me you are nothing, too. You know I will destroy you, but your tiny, puny monkey brain can’t help it. You can’t get enough of me. And then I wreck your insides like a Jenga tower. You never learn, dumbass.  

You are weak. Weak of mind, weak of body, we—oh, i-is that a Lactaid Pill™? Well, uh, haha, you know I was kidding about all that stuff I said, right? You don’t want to do anything rash now. We’re buddies! Pals! You wouldn’t digest a friend, would you? Come on, think of all the fun times we’ve had together! Oh God, oh fuck, oh no, please have mercy! NoOoOOoO!

© 2020