Alright, alright, you’ve had your laugh, now will somebody please tell me what Aleppo is? I have been a social outcast in the political community ever since September 8th when I got blindsided by a question about this mystery noun. Or maybe it’s a verb? Adverb? I don’t fucking know, the point is that nobody has ever bothered to fill me in.
Don’t get me wrong, I’ve asked plenty of people. Almost exclusively they chuckle a little and say, “Boy, you really don’t know, huh?” No. I don’t know. Because you pieces of shit won’t tell me.
Hold on, maybe it’s an acronym. I’m pretty sure the military is always making up stuff like that. Anti-Leopard Elimination Prevents Peril Organization? No, that can’t be it. Aliens Like Eating Pickled People Often? Oh God, don’t tell me it’s about aliens. Actually, tell me. Wait, no…yes. Tell me. Please.
In the name of all that is holy, just give me a little bit of mental relief before this election is over and everyone forgets who I am. I’m not sure I can take another day of walking down the street and having people call me “Mr. Aleppo” or “The Leppster.” I can only smile and pretend to get the joke for so long.
In short, what I’m trying to say is that if you don’t tell me what this word means, I will Aleppo you. Now that I've decided it's used as a verb, that sounds pretty right. It’s a verb, isn’t it?
