and entering

Making This Easy Ethical Choice Is Really Hard For Me, Okay?

I mean, jeez, guys, do you know how tough it is to abandon all of your principles?

A few weeks ago, a video was released in which Donald Trump, our party’s nominee, boasts about sexually assaulting women.  I was and remain appalled by his words, and I have announced that I will no longer be campaigning on his behalf.  Some of my critics have pointed out, however, that I have not withdrawn my endorsement from the Trump campaign, and they have accused me of putting my career before a moral obligation to keep a sexual predator out of the White House.  To them, I have only this to say: Back off, okay? I’m in a really tough spot right now.


I never thought that the job of Speaker of the House would be an easy one, and I took up the mantle of Speaker ready to stand firm against my opponents. But cut me some slack, here. I never signed up to deal with anything like this Trump garbage, so before you go bashing me, remember a fundamental truth: my life sucks so much right now.


Come on, get off my back for just a day! Can’t everyone see I don’t have any idea what to do?


Sometimes, it feels like no one has any sympathy for me, and people just expect me to do everything perfectly and without complaining.  “Block this bill, Paul”; “meet with that lobbyist, Paul”; “make this extremely simple moral choice, Paul”—that’s all I hear, all day, and I’m sick and tired of it.


Oh, and before I forget: I have a wife and a daughter and I have very deep respect for women.


Now will everyone leave me the fuck alone?

© 2016