and entering

Our Sex Life Should Be Between You, Me, and My Four Roommates

girls whispering
Our sex secrets are kept safe in this little game of telephone!

In our social media-driven age, people are so used to broadcasting every little activity they do to the entire world. That’s fine, but when it comes to romance and intimacy, the particulars should stay private. Call me old fashioned, but I just think some things aren’t meant to be shared. So if we hook up, you can trust that no one's going to know the graphic details besides you, me, and my four roommates.

The kind of locker room talk that a lot of guys engage in is so gross - not to mention a huge breach of trust. I would never give the play-by-play of a sexual encounter to a single person, let alone a whole room - except if that person was one of my roommates or that room was Lev F-15. Don’t worry though, my friends are very discreet. The walls are pretty thin, but in all this time listening to us get it on to Frank Ocean and the Weeknd, they’ve never told a soul about the animalistic noises they may or may not but definitely do hear you making.

The size of your penis? The positions we did? How long you lasted and who I was picturing if and when your performance failed to wow me? My lips are sealed, baby, and so are Lindsey’s, Jaylin’s, Mara’s, and Melissa’s.

Classy girls don’t kiss and tell. And I’m sure as hell a classy girl. That’s why the only ones who’ll know what goes on between my sheets are you, me, my roommates (unless Melissa tells her blabbermouth boyfriend, in which case all bets are off).

Photo Credit: Youtube

© 2019