My name is Garrett, I’m 20 years old, and I’m pretty sure I know everything I need to know about sex. And yes I know what a clitaurus is. And no I don’t feel the need to explain what that is at the moment.

This whole sex week thing? Seems kinda unnecessary to me. Like I think I’d know if I had an urethra. Sounds pretty girly to me, bro. 

I have a girlfriend… so I’m preeetty sure I know what she likes. I mean I’m so good at sex I finish within a minute every time. You know why? Because I know how to get a job done. As if there’s more I need to know about all the little parts. I’m pretty sure the “testy culls” hold the pee. Who even knows why they’re so testy anyways. 

Also why would I even go to sex week? I think a week where you have sex every single day is a bit absurd. They had a day dedicated to bgltq voices? Um yeah last time I checked, sandwiches don’t have voices. They also had a BDSM event??? What the hell does Kpop have anything to do with this?

And you know what, for the record, I just looked up “clitaurus” and they went extinct over 65 million years ago.

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