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Speculation: Greta Thunberg Probably Walks to the Quad

Take it with a grain of salt, of course. Thank you for listening.

Lately there’s been a lot of buzz about Swedish teenager Greta Thunberg, whose bold activism has pushed the world to take action on climate change. Thousands have listened to her powerful speech from the UN summit last Monday, and even more were touched by her decision to sail across the Atlantic to reduce carbon emissions.

By sailing to New York, Greta sacrificed the convenience of modern travel out of respect for our dying planet. She went beyond empty words and frivolous online petitions. She stuck with the fight for environmental justice, even when it meant radically altering her lifestyle. Given this information, I’m willing to make the bold call that Greta Thunberg would, in fact, walk to the Quad. 

Just like it would have been simple for Greta to board a planet-killing, icecap-melting 747 bound for the UN Climate Action Summit in New York, it would be easy for her to ride the carbon-spewing monster we call the Quad-Yard Express to Stat 110 office hours in Pfoho. But Greta didn’t take the easy way to New York. Greta ate freeze-dried food for two weeks as she crossed the Atlantic in an emission-free racing yacht. But would she endure the stares of tourists in the Yard, fight through a leg cramp while crossing Mass Ave, and dodge climate-denying bicyclists in Cambridge Common? It’s a tough call, but I’m going to say there’s at least a 60% chance she would.

In fact, I think Greta would go beyond walking to the Quad. She would spend her time at Pfoho raising awareness for the plight of real polar bears. She would push Currier to stand up for the trees that form the lungs of our world, not just the ones on their flag. She would fight right until she had to catch the last shuttle back to the river. Even the strongest among us can only do so much.

© 2019