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Why Can’t We Go Back to the Good Old Days in America, When the Life Expectancy Was 32?

Old man fisherman
Do you think I've lived this long because of modern medicine? No, it's because I have balls of steel.

You know what really bothers me? The weakness in Americans today. We used to be men, and look at us now. Just a bunch of whining babies. For example, did you know my great great grandfather had seven children, and only two of them lived past the age of three? Now that was the real America. And he only lived to be twenty five, when he broke his back while working his barren farm and got eaten by a passing bear, like a real man.

And his father before him – now THERE was a true American. He grew up in a shit filled hovel fighting for scraps with his thirteen siblings and two dogs, and did he ever complain? No, because he got a mouth infection when he was young, so his uncle cut out his tongue cause there weren’t no goddamn liberal doctors back then. 

Man, I miss when we had grit. I mean, it used to be that you made something of yourself. It was the land of opportunity and hard work, where we didn’t waste time worrying about bullshit like medicine, women, or basic human rights. But nowadays, people grow up soft, hoping that the government will give them a handout and that their children won’t experience racial persecution or die from a preventable waterborne illness.

God, I miss the old days in our country, where perseverance and the devastation of cholera really meant something to people. But look what we’ve become. Just a nation of complaining socialists, where expecting a decent quality of life isn’t entirely unreasonable. And don't even get me started on iron lungs: that was the good life right there.

© 2019