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Area Man Struck by Powerball Odds

West could not dodge the lightning-shaped inevitable force of probability.
WILSON, NC-- As public excitement rose to fever pitch over the largest Powerball Jackpot in history, area man David West was struck by lightning multiple times as he went about his daily activities. With the odds of a winning ticket calculated as 1 in 292.2 million, West was initially struck by the inevitable force of probability while completing his usual Saturday round at the golf course.
“I had just picked up my ball after my usual hole-in-one on the local Par 5, when I found myself feeling somewhat charged. However, my initial sentiment was not surprise; the odds really are stacked towards the lightning.”
Shortly after closing out the 18th hole, West attempted to purchase a snack from the clubhouse vending machine, but was able to deftly sidestep the large cuboid as it toppled over, smashing through the floorboards and crushing a poker table below, sending a freshly dealt royal flush flying into the air.
It was after he emerged from the Abbott Country Club that West was frazzled for the second time, causing his heart to stop and restart multiple times before he finally regained consciousness, and returned to his car.
A now rather charred West then drove home to his wife Savannah and their quadruple twin girls, as they dejectedly examined their mass of losing tickets, narrowly dodging a falling meteor as he closed the front door.
© 2016