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Area Mom Channels Suppressed Anger Toward Son into One-Star Yelp Reviews

Woman looking angry
As Christine Berry says, nothing gets creativity going like misplaced anger.

SAN FRANCISCO—Recently, investigators have found that local mother Christine Berry, age 44, has found an effective outlet for her unrelenting anger toward her son, Devon—one-star Yelp reviews. While she previously struggled with her anger alone, the app has given her a healthy release valve, without which she probably would have given up already.

Sources say that her current streak of seventy-two consecutive one-star reviews started just two months ago. In the past, Berry, a self-proclaimed “Yelper from way back,” had averaged two- to three-star reviews, but her recent actions mark a new level of brutality. 

A recent example shows Berry’s one-star review of Sushi Rocks, which reads, “The sushi at Sushi Rocks does not 'rock,' unlike my teenage son Devon who is going through a classic rock phase. Yes, Devon, we've all heard of Led Zeppelin, you lame-ass burden of my existence.”

Another review contained harsh gripes regarding The Plant Cafe’s vegan imitation steak, which Berry noted “wasn’t even grass-fed OR free range.” She continued, “My piece-of-shit son can cook better food than this, and he totaled the family car inside our own garage last night so you know he’s not too fucking bright.”

When Satire V reached out to Berry for an interview, she did not hold back. “My husband told me I need to find a new outlet for my anger instead of over-analyzing his tiniest flaws." Berry said. "But being able to feel like I can run a business into bankruptcy with a keyboard, crushing lifelong dreams by bringing down consumer perception—it just feels so… rewarding.”

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