and entering

Area Paperclip Struggling to Hold it Together

Clippy, from Microsoft Word, bent-out-of-shape and with blood-shot eyes, next to a bottle and ash tray
Clippy has been through some shit.

AN OFFICE — Citing frustration with his workload, Samuel Steele, a paper clip in a local office building, is reportedly having difficulty holding it all together. Steele is trying to remain in good shape while simultaneously meeting the high expectations for his work performance to no avail.

“All I see every day is another giant stack of papers I have to deal with,” the clip complained. “I keep thinking, I’m too full for this sheet! But I can’t even make a dent in the paperwork."

Steele reached out to a rubber band in the office for support in the past, but the rubber band won't pitch in this time. “I really wish I could help,” said the rubber band, “but my own commitments already have me stretched to a breaking point. The clip’s getting on my nerves, and the next time he asks I just might snap.” 

With so much stress on his wiry frame, Steele is afraid that the boss might be penciling in something else to take his place. “Of course I’m worried,” the paper clip said. “They’re starting to use staples too, and those are certainly more permanent than I am."

“I wish he wouldn’t get all bent out of shape about this,” the stapler exclaimed.

At press time, the Steele was looking to internet sensation Clippy for inspiration.


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