SatireV

Breaking

and entering

Guy on Tinder Seems Really Outdoorsy

Who's taking these pictures, Brian?
Who's taking these pictures, Brian?

TINDER – Reports are in that a local Tinder profile belonging to "Brian" seems really into outdoor activities like traveling, hiking, and camping. In addition to his first two pictures being of him at a national park, the third one is a picture of him sitting on some rock or something. Altogether these photos paint an undeniably outdoorsy picture of Brian.

Some of those who swiped right on Brian are worried that they might not be able to keep up with his active lifestyle. "I mean, being outside is fine, but the Internet exists for a reason," said local Tinder profile viewer Maria. "He's cute, but I'm not willing to change my sedentary lifestyle for him. He's not that cute."

One of Brian's pictures appears to have been taken at, like, a zoo. Or maybe a safari? One cannot escape the conclusion that he really likes animals, and being outdoors.

"Who's taking these pictures?" asked Taylor, who has exchanged messages with Brian. "There's one of him spelunking, so we have to assume he has some kind of photographer companion, right?"

Not much is known about Brian besides the fact that he enjoys being outdoors. All that is known for sure at this time is that he is already going bald at the age of 23 and that he misspelled "mountain" in his bio.

As of press time, Brian had updated his profile with a photo of him jumping off a cliff into some kind of goddamn oasis. 

© 2017
Category: