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Knee-Jerk Liberal Tears ACL

Area liberal Martin Schwartz will undergo campaign-season-ending surgery on his knee after sustaining an injury during Countdown with Keith Olbermann last night.

The incident occurred approximately 53 minutes into the program when Olbermann was approaching the climax of his Special Comment on FOX News.  Schwartz leapt to his feet upon hearing Olbermann's insinuation that FOX hosts Bill O'Reilly and Glenn Beck caused the financial meltdown of 2007 and assassinated President Kennedy.

Spectators reported that several seconds later, Schwartz let out a piercing cry and crumbled to the floor, clutching his left knee.

"At first I didn't pay him much attention," said Schwartz's wife Deborah.  "I mean, Martin's prone to histrionics when he watches MSNBC.  Once during Rachel Maddow's show he said we'd move to a kibbutz in Israel if Congress didn't pass health care reform."

After several minutes, however, it became clear that this was no routine outburst.  Paramedics carted the grimacing Schwartz out of the living room, though he managed a weak smile and gave a feeble thumbs up as Olbermann signed off with his signature "Good night, and goodluck."

Later that night, it was confirmed that Schwartz suffered a severe tear of his ACL.

Physicians anticipate that his recovery will be slow.  In three to four months, he'll begin watching CNN and will be allowed to read Nate Silver's blog.  Within a year, he should be able to read occasional posts on He is not expected to return to watching Olbermann until after the 2010 campaign season.

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