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Local Flyer Distributor Still Going Strong After 100th Day Wthout Eye Contact

Don't actually look him in the eye. We're serious.

Tristan Vidas, a 24 year old flyer distributor working out of Harvard Square, celebrates his 100th straight day without human eye contact.  Vidas, who works for a fence installation company in Cambridge, MA, takes great pride in his work.

“It’s something that people really just take for granted,” Vidas muses, “People don’t realize that when you’re out here in the trenches, you can yell about how sexy and cheap the white picket is for 8 hours a day, but you still won’t get that vital, visceral acknowledgement of your humanity.”

According to National Geographic, if you go 30 days without experiencing human touch or eye contact, you will die [citation needed].

Thankfully, Vidas is literally kept alive by the sheer population density of the city. Every time a distracted passerby bumps into him, Vidas is given a new lease on life. These accidental run-ins also renew Tristan's hope that someday someone might just be interested enough in learning about  deals on barbed-wire that they’ll stare right into the bloodshot balls of terror that his eyes have become over the past 100 days.

“I don’t blink much anymore… I’m afraid I’ll miss someone trying to make eye contact” Vidas confesses, “I just maintain hope that one of the people that bodychecks me while walking by turns around and holds my gaze for 1-3 seconds. That’s the dream.”

They never do. But Tristan Vidas keeps on smiling.

© 2013