and entering

Local Man Sole Possessor of Truth About September 11th

Paul Smith. He knows more about the Truth than you do.

CAMBRIDGE, Mass. – The man screaming outside the Harvard Square T Station knows something you don’t know.

Over the past five years, Cantabrigians
have grown accustomed to the unnerving activism of Paul Smith, self-described “political activist” and manager, director, and sole member of the political action committee End Jew Lies Now. This much is a matter
of common knowledge. But what about the man behind the sprayed spittle? Satire V’s reporting team took to the streets to investigate.

“Well, at first I was skeptical – what would some random guy shouting
on a street corner know about an ultra-secret conspiracy behind September
11th?” said Christina Walker ‘08, a self-described “big fan” of freedom,
baseball, and apple pie. “But when he really delved into the duplicitous
treachery of ZOG [the Zionist Occupational Government], I found myself nodding along and thinking that maybe he was on to something.” A fellow admirer, Henry Lodge ‘09, noted that Mr. Smith was “remarkably
courageous, you know, taking on the whole of the VJAFGCETC [Vast Jewish Atheist Feminist Gay Communist
Extra-Terrestrial Conspiracy] himself.”

To Mr. Smith’s credit, the authorities
have taken notice. While local police officers refused to comment,
saying he seemed “mostly harmless,” their higher-ups profess to be watching him with great fear. “To be honest, he threatens the entire VJAFGCETC,” explained a source within the organization, who asked to remain anonymous for fear of assassination
by his Jewish paymasters. “His adroit unraveling of the mind-locks we placed on Americans after 9/11, and our encoding the key in newspaper articles? He could bring down the entire organization.” He added, “The worst part is, his tinfoil hat protects him from our mind-control

Mr. Smith remains modest about his accomplishments in spreading awareness of “Zionist crimes against America.” He explains that it all came together when he saw the reconstruction
plans for Ground Zero and realized that they were using the new buildings to form ancient signs of power with the potential to enslave mankind. “It doesn’t take a genius to recognize potent Atlantean mind-control runes, which just happened to be my field of study at Ohio State,” he explained.

When asked where he plans to go from here, he looked thoughtfully at the passing cars for a few moments, and responded brightly “There’s so much left to figure out, so I can protect
these people.” He added, “Hey, do you think you could spare some change?”

© 2007