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New Cambridge Parking Regulation Just Fuck Off

Cambridge's new parking signs are much more concise.
CAMBRIDGE, MA-- The City of Cambridge instituted a new parking regulation on Monday. The Cambridge City Council voted to replace the complicated rules that have governed street parking with signs that simply read, "Fuck Off."
"We thought this was a more effective means of communicating the key parking rules to Cambridge residents, commuters, and tourists," said Cambridge Mayor David Maher. "It really just captures the sentiment."
The signs will replace such complicated signs as "No Parking 8 am to 2 pm Second Monday Each Month April 1st to December 31st Except Holidays" and "No, Not You Dave." Some tourists are grateful for the clarification.
"I was wondering why I got a ticket after the meter expired two minutes before I came back to my car," said tourist Brett Howard. "Then I read the sign and realized, 'Oh you idiot. It says to fuck off!' So I just fucked off and left."
Reports indicate that the Cambridge City Council is considering implementing "Permanent Construction Zones" where you just won't be able to drive anymore. At press time, the Mayor's Office refused to comment, but the press secretary gave a knowing wink.
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