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Area Child Gets Elective Appendectomy Because “Madeline Made It Seem So Badass”

What's a little elective surgery when you can be just like Madeline?
BOSTON, MASS.—On Tuesday, area child Anne P. Johnson became the first minor to undergo an elective appendectomy in an attempt to emulate the titular character in the 1939 children’s book Madeline. The eight-year-old knew the surgery was risky but went through with the operation to “have a badass scar like Madeline's.”

Johnson planned extensively for the appendectomy. “Not only does my scar look just like Madeline’s did,” she said, “but I also got my friends to bring me flowers and a doll house just like she did! I’m so fucking cool!” Her room in the hospital had a crack in the ceiling that, from the right angle, looked quite like a rabbit.
While Johnson hoped that the headmistress of her school would awaken and “sense something was wrong” like Miss Clavel did, Johnson ended up having to pre-schedule the ambulance herself.

This surgery is the latest in a long string of efforts by Johnson and her classmates to emulate characters from children’s literature. Her friend Kelly adopted a big red dog, and her buddy Paul got himself a purple crayon.
When asked about their daughter’s decision to get her appendix removed despite having no medical reason to do so, Johnson’s parents commented, “At first we were heartbroken that there was nothing we could do to protect our child. But then we read Madeline. She’s such a badass. It’s totally worth it.”

Johnson’s doctor has received criticism for performing a medically unnecessary surgery but stands firm in his decision. “Madeline is one of the bravest characters in children’s literature,” he said. “I mean, she isn’t even afraid of tigers in the zoo! What dumbass wouldn’t want to be like her?” Johnson reports that since her surgery, she is, in fact, unafraid of tigers in the zoo. 
At half past nine this morning, Johnson was seen pushing eleven of her classmates out of the house in two straight lines, shouting that they should remain so “in rain or shine.”