SatireV

Breaking

and entering

Astronaut Locks Keys Inside Shuttle

In a recent turn of events, Commander Bill Stone has come to
the conclusion that he did indeed, lock the shuttle keys inside the rocket. ""I
knew I had them a second ago,"" the commander muttered as he rooted through his
pockets. ""But I can't figure out what I did with them. I guess they must be in
my other spacesuit.""

After performing a routine maintenance of the shuttle,
Commander Stone tried to unsuccessfully re-enter the vehicle, only to discover
his keys missing. ""The others actually left already to bring back some
time-sensitive material for experiments. There's no way they'd consider turning
around just to let me in,"" the commander spoke aloud, as the gauge on his
oxygen tank continued to fall.

After trying to jimmy the lock with a spare sheet of plastic
coating, the commander was forced to brainstorm alternative options. ""I don't
even think my AAA plan provides service out here,"" he wheezed. ""I guess it
wouldn't hurt to try the 1-800 number.""

The deliberations came to a sudden end when NASA lost contact
with the lone space man. ""The signal is still strong, but for some reason we
just can't hear anything from his end.""

Commander Stone also reluctantly admitted that he may have
left the stove on inside, which ""is going to be a total nightmare for my
gas bill this month."" 

© 2009
Category: