and entering

Dentists Unanimously Endorse Teeth

A tooth, secure in the knowledge that he has received the ADA's endorsement.

CHICAGO, IL--Members of the American Dental Association unanimously reaffirmed their commitment to teeth at their monthly meeting Tuesday, voting to endorse a report supporting having teeth in people’s mouths.


The report, developed by a small faculty committee in January 2015, reiterates dentists “long-held and oft-expressed view that teeth—especially real ones—are essential to eating and stuff.” 


The dentists’ vote comes while the ADA faces a pending lawsuit alleging that they don’t actually like teeth. Filed by the American Association of Orthodontists, the lawsuit is currently on hold while the Supreme Court hears a similar case, Opticians v. Optometrists, for a second time (they don’t know the difference, either).


“The teeth that we enjoy today are not simply something that we cultivate—we do—but something that has emerged with the new demographics of the United States,” said Jim, a real dentist.


“I really feel that this is an important thing. Teeth, you know? It’s pretty obvious. Even I agree, and I never agree with the other 4 dentists on anything.”


Continuing their prolonged discussion of types of teeth that are good, the ADA unanimously condemned diversity in teeth, maintaining that all teeth should be white.


Image credit: Capofronti

© 2016