SatireV

Breaking

and entering

Health Food Industry Pledges to Make Products Taste Good

In a joint statement yesterday, the leaders of the major corporations that produce healthy foods and snacks vowed to make the taste of their products a priority in the upcoming fiscal year. "It's certainly something we're looking into changing," says Ted Jacobson, CEO of Sun Valley Foods, Inc. "We realize that the soul-sucking, stomach-crippling, dearth of flavor which we find so appealing is not very attractive to the market."

This move comes after a year of belt-tightening at healthy food companies across the country. Jacobson was asked exactly how his company was going to address the issue. "Well, we're thinking of adding sweetener and other natural flavors to our upcoming line of Lima Bean Cakes, and I believe it's time our Rice Muffins got a little upgrade, maybe even throw some barley in there."

© 2010
Category: