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I Have to Admit, This Is Pretty Funny, in a Dark Way

Remember when I thought glasses would make people think I was smart?? LOL.

Hi there, how’s everyone doing? I bet you didn’t think you’d be seeing any more of me after two failed presidential campaigns, but look how things have ended up—I’ve been nominated to be the Secretary of Energy! I know I’ll face some serious responsibilities in my new role, but in the meantime, I just wanted to take a moment to acknowledge how funny this whole thing is.

I mean, this is me we’re talking about. Rick Perry. The same guy people thought was an evil homophobe or an even-dumber George W. Bush. The one who proudly oversaw the highest number of executions of any American governor. The candidate who couldn’t even remember which government departments he wanted to eliminate when asked in a debate. That man is now a high-ranking federal government official, considered by many to be one of the more sane and competent members of the Trump cabinet. Did you hear that?  Rick Perry, one of the good guys in a presidential cabinet? If that’s not darkly amusing to you, I don’t know what would be.

Want to know the kicker? Then see if you can guess which federal department I forgot about at that debate...did you guess the Department of Energy? The one I’m going to be in charge of now? If so, you would be correct, hilariously enough.

Sorry, I have to take a break from this for a second. I’m laughing too hard. 

Anyway, these next few years will be an amazing time for me and for all of America, filled with great challenges, immense privileges, and, uh, the third one…I can’t…just kidding! The third one is humor. Twisted, cruel, hilarious humor.

© 2017
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