Late Tuesday afternoon, Morgan Stanley banker Steven Longstreet reportedly came to the grave realization that Houston resident Felicia Gomez had most definitely stolen his $10,000 Rolex Oyster Perpetual Datejust Rhodium Diamond wristwatch, without a doubt.

The current VP in the Global Utilities Group first encountered Gomez, a housekeeper at the Houston Doubletree, as she made his Deluxe Comfort Suite bed Tuesday morning, during his recent business trip to the “Space City.” An hour later, Longstreet and Gomez again crossed paths as the 58-year-old grandmother of three smiled gently at the VP as he pilfered two extra hand towels from her supply cart on his way to his 8am pre-meeting jack-off.

On his way to the airport after absolutely crushing it on his final conference call that afternoon, Longstreet realized his wristwatch had gone missing from his elegant, lily white wrist. In his UberBLACK to the George Bush Intercontinental Airport, Longstreet was overheard phoning Hilton Customer Service to report his stolen watch and his suspicions regarding Gomez – “I think it was the old Mexican maid lady eying my $10,000 Rolex like some Chipotle burrito.” When asked for comment, Longstreet waived off reporters with “it was no problem; it really wasn’t about the watch itself, you know? It was about the justice. But, yes, I did just buy three replacements.” 

At time of publication, Gomez was reportedly in her supervisor’s office, turning in a watch “muy feo y chillón” left on Longstreet’s nightstand.

Image source: Henry Han/Wikimedia