As pundits and reporters continue to speculate about whom Donald Trump will pick to fill key roles in his administration, Satire V has exclusively acquired a list of President-elect Trump's picks:

Secretary of Transportation: Chris Christie

Russian Ambassador: Vladimir Putin

Secretary of Homeland Security: Jason Bourne

Secretary of Homeland: Claire Danes

Council of Economic Advisors: The movie Moneyball, Dow Jones, and the Washington Post horoscopes page

Secretary of Health and Human Services: Dr. Paul J. Barreira

Secretary of Education: A Bible stapled to a Breitbart article

High Inquisitor: Dolores Umbridge

Secretary of Energy: The oil. We have to take it back.

Secretary of Low Energy: Jeb Bush

Secretary of Cyber: Barron Trump

Secretary of Who?: Tiffany Trump

Secretary of the Underworld: Eric Trump 

Secretary: Someone with a pussy

Secretary of Commerce: Mr. Monopoly

Secretary of Agriculture: Your aunt who still plays Farmville

National Security Advisor: Donald Trump (“I’m speaking with myself, number one, because I have a very good brain”)

Communications Director: Joseph Goebbels