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Michael Crichton Preserved in Amber

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Influential science fiction
writer Michael Crichton will be preserved in amber, sources close to the
Crichton family said yesterday.

 As explained in a cartoon video at the
funeral, Crichton's DNA will be preserved in amber for later sequencing as
technology improves. Any gaps in his genetic code will be filled by DNA from
West African Frogs. Scientists will replicate Crichton's DNA and let it incubate
in an ostrich egg, from which they hope a baby Crichton will hatch. The Crichton
family has bought Isla Nublar, a small island 90 miles west of Costa Rica, in
hope that it will serve as a compound for the new Michael. Though plans for a
giant power grid on the island have had some obstacles, the family is confident
the island will be fully operational in time to safely house the
beast.

Some have hypothesized that
this means trouble. Dr. Ian Malcolm, chaos theorist and Chrichton family
physician, is an outspoken critic of the plan. ""We've been down
this road before,"" explained Malcolm, ""If there is one thing the history of evolution has taught us it's that
life will not be contained. Life breaks free, expands to new territory, and
crashes through barriers, painfully, maybe even dangerously. I am terrified of a
world with gigantic Michael Crichtons running around and destroying Los
Angeles."" 

Family members have been adamant in their support of the project. ""The
important thing for Dad is that life finds a way,"" say his children. In lieu of
flowers, mourners are asked to send donations to INGEN.

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