SatireV

Breaking

and entering

Michael Steele "Gaffe" Proves Genius

When Michael Steele accused Sasha Obama of being anti-Semitic last week, it seemed the RNC chairman had made the political gaffe of the century. Now, it is becoming clear that the comment was all part of an incredibly shrewd political maneuver.

Flashback to a month ago, when Steele said in an interview, "I'm a very cause-and-effect kind of guy. If I do something there's a reason for it. It may look like a mistake or a gaffe. But there's a rationale, there's a logic behind it." The political community responded with laughs.

It appears, though, that Steele was telling the truth; his genius, in fact, may know no bounds.

At an RNC fundraising dinner last week, Steele was walking off the stage when he said into a hot microphone, "Oh yes, the Obamas are wonderful people -- except for Sasha. She's a raging anti-Semite." The crowd gasped.

Steele proceeded to slip on a pool of standing water, tripping off the stage and falling head first into Rush Limbaugh. Unfortunately, Limbaugh had lifted his hands to break Steele's fall, not realizing he was still holding a fork and knife. The utensils punctured both of Steele's corneas, causing the chairman to scream in agony, stumbling blindly across the room. The chairman unknowingly ran into the kitchen where he collided with a chef carrying a pot of boiling water. The badly burned Steele was rushed to George Washington University Hospital.

Public sympathy for Steele was non-existent in light of his Sasha Obama remark. It seemed that the chairman had committed political suicide.

Shortly after Steele was hospitalized, however, the tides began to turn. In response to Steele's remark, and in an "abundance of caution,"" the Obamas decided to host a private screening of Schindler's List at the White House. Invitations were sent out to prominent House and Senate members of both parties. No congressional Republicans were able to attend, however, because a "Get Well Michael" event was scheduled for the exact same time at George Washington Hospital.

Meanwhile, the Schindler's List screening seemed to be going well, but towards the end of the film, at a particularly somber moment, House Majority Whip James Clyburn (D-SC) sneezed. Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi (D-CA) giggled at the awkward break of the tense silence. Gradually, the entire audience began chuckling and soon the whole auditorium was filled with defeating laughter. The entire event was caught on camera by several media outlets.

The public did not respond well to what was perceived as the Democrats making light of the Holocaust. President Obama's approval rating dipped into the low thirties for the first time in his presidency. The Democratic congressional approval rating is similarly at a record low. For the first time since before the 2006 midterm, it appears that the Republicans are beginning to regain political capital in Washington.

When asked about the recent developments, Steele gave a painful smile and said, "It's all part of the strategy. Of course I knew the mic was hot. And the boiling water? That was key." Struggling to breathe, Steele added, "If you want to survive in the world of Washington politics, you need to see the whole chess board."

© 2009
Category: