and entering

Satire V's MLB Preview

​Caption: Derek Jeter is a player who will not be playing in 2015. Aw, man. (Credit: Flickr)
New York Yankees
The Bronx Bombers, coming off an unsuccessful season, are hoping to compete for a playoff spot this year. Although GM Brian Cashman calls it "cost effective," some scouts are doubtful that the team's decision to replace Derek Jeter with a pile of cash will pan out. 

San Francisco Giants
The Giants will probably be in the World Series again, but for some reason you will forget about them.

Colorado Rockies
Rumor has it Colorado is considering not fielding a team at all and just spending the season backpacking through Europe. The team's owner Dick Monfort calls this the "more financially viable option, to be honest."

Los Angeles Dodgers
Los Angeles will probably dominate the NL West this year, but it is still unclear whether they will make an unnecessary blockbuster trade in June or July.

Chicago Cubs
Don't get your hopes up.

Oakland A's
Somehow the A's will pull 90 wins out of their collective ass. We can't figure out why but we think it has something to do with Jonah Hill. Wow, he's funny AND a good actor! What a guy!

Kansas City Royals
Wait, Kansas City was in the World Series last year? Really?

Montreal Expos
Nobody is expecting the Expos to do anything this year, but we at Satire V believe they are THE sleeper team to watch this year in the National League. 
This past offseason Tampa Bay lost a staple of the city when Joe Maddon's glasses-- as well as Maddon himself-- emigrated to Chicago's North Side. Now some are questioning new manager Kevin Cash's decision to start the ghost of Don Zimmer at second base. But the real question is, will the Rays or the Tropicana Field dome collapse first? Our answer: it won't matter. 
The NL Central
Ten bucks if you can name all the teams in this division. 
Babe Ruth
We project the Sultan of Swat will remain dead for the duration of the 2015 season. 
Red Sox
Well, it can't get any worse than last year, right? ...Right?
© 2015