and entering

Tennis Officials Oppose “Packing the Courts”

attendance has been limited to only fans willing to die in the name of tennis

St. Petersburg, FL—After many prominent voices volleyed around the idea of ‘packing the courts,’ top officials from the World Tennis Association came out with an official statement to limit attendance at matches to 9 spectators.

In an open press release, the Director of Communications Smith stated “our mission is to spread the love. But we can only do that if we serve our greater communities.”

Fans reached their break point after receiving the news. They started causing a racquet by protesting in swing states such as Michigan and Florida. Season ticket holder Kaplan yelled “that was such a backhanded remark. They have no grip on what fans are going through right now.”

The following morning, President Liskin sent an internal memo to the employees to explain his position. “We think we’d be at double fault for exposing both players and fans to the virus. It's important to set the precedent for sports worldwide, even if it means a net loss in fans. One advantage is that we’ll have a clear majority of employees to fans within the stadium.”

When asked for comment, Presidential Nominee Joe Biden replied: “Deuces.”

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