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Trump Hires Sabrina the Teenage Witch as Legal Counsel for Mueller’s “Witch Hunt”

sabrina
Sabrina and Salem have moved to the White House.
WASHINGTON, D.C.—President Donald Trump recently added Sabrina the Teenage Witch to his legal counsel as he wards off a "witch hunt."
 
"Robert Mueller is out of control," Press Secretary Sarah Huckabee Sanders explained. "And if there's anyone who knows how to get out of a pickle, it's the quirky yet relatable protagonist who had to make herself reappear in time for the dance after giving herself a disappearing potion in season 4, episode 13."

Sabrina “the Teenage Witch” Spellman was Trump's first choice for the position. He also considered the Wicked Witch of the West, Dolores Umbridge, Maleficent, Samantha Stephens, and Spellman's aunts Hilda and Zelda.

Chief of Staff John Kelly commented, “I mean...at least this is keeping him preoccupied.” Staffers in the West Wing are reportedly not excited about the recent hire, as Spellman has perpetually been a teenager since 1996 and thus lacks the educational credentials to work in the White House.

Spellman is reportedly using a closet in the Lincoln Bedroom to access the Other Realm. Trump has thus far only used Spellman's powers to increase the size of his hands.
 
At press time, Salem the cat was seen making himself comfortable on the Resolute desk. 
 
Image credit: Junkee
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