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Upstart News Anchor Vies for Bill O'Reilly's Timeslot

O'Smiley, pictured here, is legally an entirely separate entity from former "Factor" host Bill O'Reilly.
NEW YORK, NY – Fox News executives were impressed Sunday by a young upstart news anchor who auditioned to replace Bill O'Reilly, the long-time host of The O'Reilly Factor who was recently fired for repeated accusations of sexual harassment.
The anchor, who auditioned under the name Phil O'Smiley, is looking to replace the most popular host in cable news. Fox News parent company boss Rupert Murdoch, who is reportedly worried that the network will be hard-pressed to find an equally charismatic host, personally asked O'Smiley to audition.
"Caution! You're about to enter the no-slant zone," said O'Smiley to camera. Network executives seemed to enjoy O'Smiley's delivery, on-camera presence, and lack of resemblance to the former host O'Reilly.
"Legally speaking, I can report no obvious similarities to O'Reilly at all," said an anonymous Fox News executive when asked what he thought about O'Smiley's chances. "And no, we will not ask him to lose the sunglasses and mustache. They are essential to the O'Reilly– I mean, O'Smiley– brand."
At press time, Fox News was reportedly considering hiring johnny-come-lately Rodger Snails as an executive producer for the revamped Factor.
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