SatireV

Breaking

and entering

Ah Yes, I Love the Tri-State Area: Dakota, Massachusetts, and Vermont

Zip zap loop de loop! Here we goooo!

by a 5th Dimensional Sprite

 

From the amber plains of Massachusetts to the amber plains of Vermont, as an American there is no greater joy than driving down the Pacifist Coach Highway through the beautiful tri-state DMV area. 

Take this tale from the road, if you will. On a particularly loopy zip-zap through zeta Möbius strip Town, a humble gas worker once asked me, “Would you like a burger?” Of course, I responded in kind, “For purple mountains, your majesty!” Ha ha! Classic.

The next hour, I was projecting myself into 3-space to interact with a Walmart, but I kept getting bitten by the eagles! Pesky birds, really. I don’t know why you keep them around. But oh, the charm!

See, you alabaster city dwellers are so preoccupied drinking your phones and your Starbucks that it is always a while before you stop and look around the roses. But how much of this great network of states you miss, and especially this wondrous DMV! Transport is key - allow me to explain.

Greyhounds? Unreliable. Just like many Dakotans I meet, plenty of other Americans own Retrievers. Why not take this mode instead? Truly, no pleasure is greater than ‘whipping’ your Retriever through the tri-state area, undimmed by human tears! America! America! May God and its Dog thy gold refine.

One moment Dakota...the next moment, Massachusetts, and the next, Vermont...over and over! Oh how it pleases me. Zip, zap, zoop, loop and loop and loop! The essence of Americana flying by in the blink of an eye!

Oh...on second thought, unfortunately it appears I have made one too many dimensional jumps and am being projected into the zeroth dimension for my crimes. Ah, the price of living in this free country. Until next time and space, my volumetric chap!

© 2020
Category: