and entering

Big Doodle Knows Where You Are, When You’re Free

Doodle Poll
It may look like a bunch of boxes, but it is so much more.

ZURICH, SWITZERLAND—In a press conference this Saturday, CEO Lior Yavor announced that Doodle®, the company that makes the popular web application Doodle Poll, has extensive information about where you are and what extracurriculars you have time for. 

“This is an early warning,” Yavor proclaimed. “No matter where you are, no matter what you do, we know whether or not you’re planning to make it to office hours in Sever 203 this Friday. We are the all-seeing, all-knowing eye of God, and we better not be crossed.”

This revelation comes as no surprise to Ella R. Corning ’19, who received a strange call from an employee this week. “He started laughing at me,” she said. “He said that I was too ambitious to comp The Advocate and The Lampoon; he said it just couldn’t be done. Then he called me ‘a puny sheaf of grass on a mote of dust, drifting without purpose.'"

Yavor’s announcement comes on the heels of controversial additions to the website. The new ‘My Calendar’ app on the website received criticism for accessing users' schedules. The app is also under fire for the unsolicited creation of events for its users with the titles "Obey" and "Look On My Works, Ye Mighty, and Despair."
But Doodle Poll is not the only scheduling service to receive backlash for its troubling behavior. Popular web application When2Meet has also been criticized for soliciting users to schedule a meeting with "[Their] Maker."
When asked for comment on the controversy, Yavor responded that, “this is merely the beginning,” as his eyes filled with blood. Yavor ended the interview early, citing a meeting that a reporter in the crowd was going to be late to.
© 2018