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Britain Accepts Clair Foy as Queen Until Charles Passes Because Fuck That Guy

Claire Foy
Claire Foy is the next Queen.
LONDON—Britain collectively agreed this week to pass the crown onto Clair Foy until Prince Charles passes.
Foy, who portrayed Queen Elizabeth II in the hit Netflix series The Crown, was one of many candidates for the role. Others included anyone who had ever appeared on The Great British Baking Show, Prince William and Duchess Kate's unborn third child, and just about any bloke on the street who did not treat Princess Diana so poorly.
After all of the Queen's corgis have passed, all of whom were in line for the throne ahead of Charles, the Palace decided to take measures to ensure that Charles will not become King. 

“I’ll take anyone over Charles,” noted London mayor Sadiq Khan. "Honestly even Camilla would be better. And who likes Camilla?" 

Palace officials cited nobody liking Charles as their reason for the change. Foy is already set to take the Queen’s place at the Trooping of the Colors this June. The Queen is mulling an early retirement, knowing that the Commonwealth will be in good hands—not Charles’. 
Reports say that Palace officials are considering replacing Prince Philip with either Matt Smith or just a convincing cardboard cutout.
Image credit: Junkee
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