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Democrats Launch New “A Man like Obama” Campaign

A clip from the movie, showing Obama returning from mind-blowing sex with a mermaid.

In the aftermath of the first presidential debate, which commentators declared as a defeat for President Obama, the Democratic Party has drawn inspiration from Russia’s President Putin, and created a video showcasing Mr. Obama’s more ‘manly’ characteristics, in an attempt to revive the President’s fortunes.
After the debate, the President was heavily criticized for his timidity and caution, being called all sorts of derogatory terms like “sniveling pussy”, “Mitt Romney’s little bitch”, and “castrated toad.” The new video campaign aims to correct that image of President Obama by reinforcing his strength and virility.

According to insiders within the Obama campaign, the video features a scantily clad man and woman professing their love for Mr. Obama in the form of a fast-paced dance number, with a backdrop of photos and videos showing the President engaging in activities perceived to be ‘masculine’, such as horseback riding through the Rockies, diving into the freezing ocean in Alaska, wrestling with stingrays in Hawaii, and biting into a cactus in the Mojave Desert. In all these scenes, President Obama is shown shirtless, in order to, as one of his advisors puts it, “display his gorgeous abs.” In addition, while the campaign has attempted to shoot the video in a variety of exotic locations across America, they have generally shown a preference for mountainous country to show that, contrary to Al Gore’s claim, the President is perfectly capable of handing high altitudes. In order to appeal to a wider cross-section of voters, the campaign staff have chosen Neil Patrick Harris and Sarah Palin as the lead singers wearing nothing but a few pieces of well-placed leaves of lettuce, crooning “All I want is a man like Obama.”

President Putin, when asked about his views on Mr. Obama’s attempts to emulate him, scoffed and said, “While it is certainly cute that Barack, like, looks up to me, he should, like, realize, that masculinity is so last season. Sensitivity is totally the ‘in’ thing these days!” The Russian President went on to announce that he planned to release a music video with One Direction and Justin Bieber in the next few months.

© 2012