and entering

Kim Jong Un Accidentally Devours Entire Nation of North Korea, is Deposed

Kim Jong Un, agog, and also super full now

Kim Jong Un, Supreme Leader of North Korea, is speculated to have unintentionally eaten the nation he governs. An investigation into Un’s pre-post-dinner-mid-midnight snack this Monday revealed that instead of eating his usual meal of two chickens, an omelet, and a local peasant, Un had accidentally consumed the entire nation of North Korea.

 When journalist Amy Kalit was sent to get the story, Kim Jong Un ate her almost immediately. Fortunately, this enabled her to engage in informative interviews with the people of North Korea, now trapped inside Un.

 “How do you feel about the fact that Kim Jong Un, your Supreme Leader, was able to devour you without even noticing it?” Kalit asked the entirety of North Korea. “Supreme Leader so impressive!” was a common response, coming from a group in the Pyongyang district. Other popular responses from the 20 million new inhabitants of Kim Jong Un included “Wow, Supreme Leader can eat so much. I only can eat 3 grains of rice per day!” and “Supreme Leader is now even Supremer!” and “Wow, so much food down here!”

 As a result of Kim Jong Un’s consumption of the nation of North Korea, he was deposed as Supreme Leader.  Although the precise time at which this decision was made is unknown, it is certain that it must have occurred between the time that the cities of Hamhung and Chongjin passed by Kim Jong Un’s spleen.

© 2014