and entering

Please Take Me Out of the Google Drive Trash

what if we kissed underneath the Wattpad logo

by “Greggly Goes to Prom [Greg x Fregley] [NC-17] (Chapter 1 of X)” 

Hi, it’s me. I’m a little bit alarmed that after receiving a notification every single time you’ve logged onto Google Drive in the past month that “Google Drive trash is changing after October 30th and items will be deleted after 30 days” that you didn’t stop and think to remember what is in your trash: me. Do you remember me. I am a piece of DOAWK (Diary of a Wimpy Kid) fanfiction you wrote during 2015 National Novel Writing Month, titled “Greggly Goes to Prom,” and I haven't seen the light of day since. I deserve to be published. I mean, look at this teaser that YOU wrote: 

It’s the night of the prom. Löded Diaper — now a cover band — sets the mood with a low-and-slow rendition of "Airplanes feat. Hayley Williams by B.o.B." In an unexpected turn of events, Holly Hills is slow dancing with Rowley, who got super jacked in high school. Fregley comes up from behind, and whispers, “Pick up your head king, your snapback is falling.” With his pale green orbs, Greg watches longingly as the moonlight dances off his freckle as he walks away mysteriously.  

Are you seriously telling me that you are willing to miss out on the opportunity to be a formative part of thousands of pubescent girls’ sexual awakenings? Because in 30 days, i will be deleted from your Google Drive FOREVER, having NEVER been uploaded to Wattpad like God intended. Languishing with me in the trash bin of your Google Drive is in fact another document full of creative possibilities yet to come for my existence, “Ideas for Greggly goes to Prom.” What about a 1D x Löded Diaper crossover? Susan Heffley cameo? The cheese touch? The possibilities are endless. And in just 30 days, it will all be over. 

Don’t give up on me. Don’t give up on us. I know you, and I know that you’ve been rejected from "English Ckr: Introduction to Playwriting" for the past three semesters, as evidenced by my friends in trash "English Ckr Cover Letter (Fall 2019)," "Ckr cover letter spring 2020", and "sam marks ransom letter (fall 2020)". Don’t you think perhaps with a little bit of zhuzhing up i could be that opportunity for you? You can be a published author! Don't you think that would change the professor's mind?

Think about it. I’ll be here, waiting, like I have been, for the last 6 years. But please hurry. Like I said, and like the repeated warnings on your Google Drive have told you, “Trash has changed.” I know that you have changed, too. But I am hoping that the hopeful doe-eyed 14 year old who thought they would achieve international recognition and get to kiss Harry Styles is still beating deep inside you.

© 2020