MONTREAL, CANADA – A recent press interview revealed that Pornhub Lead Developer Rusty Gitalto established a new direction for the world’s leading DIY site. Gitalto announced, “the website will be switching from its distinctive black design to a comforting, family-friendly white themed user interface so you pathetic fucks don’t have to see your reflection while our videos load.”
The decision was informed by a recent user study on the worst parts of the porn viewing experience. User hand2glandcombat elaborated on his position, “It’s not only the fact that it’s a turn off to see my desperate and disgustingly eager stare in the reflection of the video frame. Seeing myself so close to actual sex is also unrealistic and ruins my immersion.”
Sexual health expert Ellen Rosenwood has fired criticism. “Yes, sex positivity is important. It’s incredibly natural to take some time during the week to ring the devil’s doorbell. But those few seconds of staring into that pitiful abyss is the only chance that people get to acknowledge that tickling your fancy to strangers online is kinda fucking weird.”
Religious figures have surprisingly demonstrated a great deal of support for the research. Vatican officials expressed, “The survey shows that people are still drawn to the virtues of light and holiness even in their most primal and intimate moments. It’s also easier to camouflage the light theme with other tabs during mass.”
Further research by Pornhub has also revealed a strong correlation between having any opinion about this at all and disappointing your parents.