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HUDS "Traffic Light" Label Has Too Many Colors

The introduction of new color-coded food into several dining halls as part of a senior thesis project investigating whether colors make people eat stuff has drawn criticism from a wide range of students. Chief among the concerns voiced is the number of colors used in the experiment, which has quickly exceeded two dozen and threatens to surpass the chromatic sensibilities of all but the most hardened VES concentrators.

HUDS Offers Cereal Naming Rights to Donors

Harvard University Dining Services (HUDS) today introduced much-needed transparency to its cereal naming process, unveiling a revolutionary new methodology. The new HUDS Head of Marketing and Strategy announced that they would soon start naming their cereals after alumni who donated generously to the university. Starting next week, students can, for instance, rely on a bowl of Kenneth Griffin Bran Flakes to get them through their 3am problem set sessions.

Cinnamon Challenge Inspires New Annenberg Dish

CAMBRIDGE, MA--On Wednesday, Annenberg employee Ron Stig put his swallowing skills to the test while manning line three. Harvard’s culinary world would never be the same again.

Stig reportedly inhaled an entire spoonful of cinnamon after receiving a challenge from a student. He then almost choked and spit it out onto the student’s plate of oatmeal.
“When I spit, the oatmeal was covered with the spice. It looked a lot like the mixed rice dishes we serve sometimes. That’s when it hit me—we should serve this,” recalled Stig.

Harvard University Dining Services to Implement “Foodless Fridays”

CAMBRIDGE, MA—Hot on the heels of its successful introduction of “less-meat Mondays,” Harvard University Dining Services announced yesterday that it will no longer serve food on Fridays.

“After realizing that we could easily remove meat, the most expensive component of our meals, we began to explore additional avenues of cost-cutting,” said HUDS spokesperson Crista Martin. “That led us to the idea of Foodless Fridays. By simply not providing food one day a week, we can cut one-seventh of our annual operating costs.”

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