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I Know You Have to Wake Up Early, But Why the Fuck Do You Need 7 Alarms?

Hey!

I really wanted to talk to you about something when I heard you getting up this morning, but unfortunately I didn’t have time since I was busy trying to be asleep.

Student Spends 8-9 Hours Doing Literally Nothing

CAMBRIDGE, MA -- Shocking many and disturbing some, area student Jacob Prescott was seen spending eight to nine hours lying down and doing literally nothing. Indeed, after assuming his initial horizontal position and closing his eyelids, he proceeded not to move for a whopping eight hours and 40 minutes until his eyes opened again.