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I Know You Have to Wake Up Early, But Why the Fuck Do You Need 7 Alarms?

Hey!

I really wanted to talk to you about something when I heard you getting up this morning, but unfortunately I didn’t have time since I was busy trying to be asleep.

This The Week I Get My Life Together, Announces Roommate For Eighth Time This Semester

CAMBRIDGE, MA - Reaffirming reports that have circulated since January, Kate Allan '19 announced earlier today that this week would be the one where she "catches up on work and gets [her] life back on track."

Over a hasty Flyby lunch, the sophomore elaborated, "Yeah, these past few days have been absolute hell, but I just need to make to Friday. Then I'll finally have time to do all the club and job search stuff I've been putting off. Oh, wait, I need to finish my pset first. Fuck. The online quiz is due MONDAY?"

Science Center E Regrets Linking with Science Centers A-D

After forty years of half-hearted texts and occasional birthday get-togethers, Science Center E has finally admitted that linking with Science Centers A-D has not been as good as he had originally hoped.

“I’m so happy that we’re only a staircase away from each other and all,” said E, “but it just feels like I never see them anymore.”

B was not surprised. “I knew that this would happen from the beginning. C was always the closest to him, but ever since she got Science and Cooking, she’s been pretty preoccupied. I guess the rest of us just kind of forgot about E.”