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30 Minutes or it's Free

BREAKING: Russian Leader Dies of Natural Causes for First Time in Over Five Hundred Years

A poll asking "Which of these figures is Mikhail Gorbachev?" The results show that 64% chose a picture of Lenin, 12% chose a T-Rex, 3% chose Gorbachev, and 21% chose Elmo.

MOSCOW, Russia — News that former Soviet Premier Mikhail Gorbachev died on August 30th was met with shock and sadness around the world – no place more so than his native Russia. Best known for liberal policies such as glasnost and a notable stint as a Pizza Hut spokesman, Gorbachev was a controversial figure due to his role in the dissolution of the Soviet Union as well as for his unwillingness to honor the “30 minutes or its free” rule. This made it all the more shocking when it was announced Tuesday that Mr.