By the Allston Engineering Campus 

Yeah, I get it. We’ve all had a pretty shitty year. We were all expecting maybe a little better for ourselves. Zoom University was renewed for a second season. Mather Lather was presumably canceled for the foreseeable future. And what was supposed to be a breathless tryst in the Widener stacks is now a ménage à un in your childhood beanbag chair.

Dear Members of the Harvard Community,

The clock is ticking. For time, that is.

As I am sure you are aware by now, the School of Engineering and Applied Sciences will complete its move to Allston by 2020. In accordance with the second law of thermodynamics, the Office of Career Services will reach New York by 2035, Farkas Hall will exit the Laniakea Supercluster by 3010, and the particles of the Lamont Media Room will be strewn across the Hubble Deep Field by 8100. In anticipation of this campus growth, however, time itself will have to end first.