CAMBRIDGE, MA — Area hero Alex E. Wilkins '20 has accomplished a remarkable feat: The Government concentrator managed to get through all of reading week without reading a single thing.

“There were a few times I came close to reading words,” said Wilkins, a legend in our midst. “On Wednesday, I absentmindedly picked up my Ec textbook. But my body reacted to the touch of an academic resource by immediately puking, alerting me to my mistake. It took me a good four episodes of The Office to calm down."