Don't buy your books new

In fact, don't buy them at all. Instead, rely on Wikipedia, Reddit, and Flyby for information. Alternatively, look into illegal downloads. The more illegal software on your new laptop, the better.

Never eat a meal alone

Make sure to bring your childhood imaginary friend along, and refer to them frequently whenever you have real-life company. Don't worry, soon it will just be you and Ghostie in the corner of Annenberg. 

Go to office hours

CAMBRIDGE-– Harvard’s Office of Admissions and Financial Aid ­had a record year in receiving 39,000 applications for the Class of 2020. As a result, the office also broke its record for applications thrown away, with more than 35,000 tossed out. Dean of Admissions and Financial Aid William R. Fitzsimmons ’67 was thrilled with the higher numbers.

“It’s tough increasing the number of applications we get to throw away every year, but we get it done,” he said. “This year was great-– we dashed the hopes and dreams of tens of thousands of kids!”