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Beyoncé Releases Surprise Baby

Queen Bey with her new boo

The blogosphere went wild last night after Queen Bey released a surprise baby at 8:44pm EST.

It had been just under two years since her last baby, Blue Ivy. The new baby is self-titled.

“I don’t know how she managed to hide it!” wrote one excited blogger. “Months of work, probably dozens of doctor’s appointments, and yet none of us knew a thing about little Beyoncé.”

The baby was released with little fanfare last night. Unlike previous babies, who were released at Lenox Hill Hospital, little Beyoncé was delivered at home.

In a statement released by Beyoncé, she credits Jay-Z for his help with the creative process, crediting especially their collaboration one night while drunk in love.

“I kind of freestyled, and Jay went in and he started flowing,” explained Beyoncé in the statement. “We just had fun. It was great, because it wasn’t about any ego; we weren’t trying to make a hit baby. We were just having a good time.”

In a shocking development, the baby also features evidence of a number of other collaborations, including the smooth voice of Frank Ocean. 

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