and entering

Darth Vader Arrested in France For Violating Burqa Ban

Darth Vader was tanning unsuccessfully on the French Riviera when arrested.

Darth Vader, a senior figure in the government of the Intergalactic Empire, has been arrested while holidaying on the French Riviera for violating France’s ban on wearing the burqa in public spaces.

France’s government has refused to release Mr. Vader, stating that the law applied equally to all, and placed him in a high-security cell after he attempted to use Jedi mind tricks to try and convince the prison guards to release him.

Under increasing criticism about the burqa ban, the French President Francois Hollande has defended the law, saying, “The principle of not concealing one’s body, including (but not limited to) the face, is integral to French values. If Mr. Vader showed us more of his body, we in France would be able to trust him more. I, for instance, have certainly come to trust Kate Middleton this summer.”

The Intergalactic Empire has responded with outrage, asserting that France had no right to arrest Mr. Vader for simply “protecting his modesty in accordance with beliefs of the Sith religion,” and it has even threatened to strike the country with its destructive energy beam. The people of the empire have also reacted angrily, and large protests have occurred outside the French embassy aboard the death star.

Update: In a bizarre twist, it was discovered that Mr. Vader was in fact Francois Hollande’s father. Mr. Vader, upon revealing this to Mr. Hollande, apparently finally agreed to remove his burqa and is currently in a critical condition.


© 2012