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God Fumbles, Fails to Save Queen

God, depicted as in Michaelangelo's Creation of Adam, fails to save a soccer ball from crossing the line of a soccer goal. Queen Elizabeth is in a small red box in the upper right corner, captioned as saying "Oh no!"
God's getting benched for sure after this one

LONDON, England—Both Liverpool and Manchester fans were disappointed yesterday when, after a grueling 70 years on the pitch, God failed to save the Queen.

“He’s just never failed us like this before!” cried one dismayed Englishman. “I’m pretty sure he was the one who told us to keep calm and carry on way back when things looked bleak in the first half.”

It had been decades of plays during which God had kept a clean sheet in every possible way. “He’s always made sure the refs were on her side” said one fan. “Even when it was, like, super questionable. Anyone remember Princess Di? She’d never have gotten away with that one if we’d had video review.”

But in the last minutes of overtime, God fumbled the save. “I didn’t even know that was possible! I must have been one of my handless depictions,” said the man upstairs Himself.

Alas, as the red whistled three times the ball had crossed the line. God had failed to save the Queen. 

“I hear she’s with the other team now.” commented a spectator. “You know, the ones from that place that’s bloody hot all the time?” The spectator’s claim has since been clarified. Sources confirm that the spectator did not mean Real Madrid.



Image Credit: Adventure Playground Systems

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