1) How many animal teeth did you admit to owning?
A) Only two. I said they were shark teeth that I got on a family vacation to Ocean City, MD last year.
B) Several hundred. I also mentioned how I had them variously stashed around my room: a handful of zebra incisors on my desk, a dozen or so cobra fangs in the closet, and -- get this -- a full set of bear teeth in the top drawer of my nightstand. I know, my setup is pretty badass.
2) How did your interviewer react when you brought up the animal teeth?
A) She laughed and told me that we all had quirky hobbies. I think it actually convinced her I was a good fit for the firm.
B) She cocked her a head a little bit and seemed unsure whether I was joking or not. I told her I wasn't and went on to explain how I sometimes use the cobra fangs in a complex ritual to ask the Enamel Ghost for good luck in the coming weeks. After that she went pretty quiet.
3) Did your case have anything at all to do with animal teeth?
A) Yes! It was about a hypothetical nonprofit that was interested in expanding its lion habitat preservation efforts. Lion dental health is apparently a hot topic in the field. Who knew?
B) Not at all. It was about some tech company shit, I don't know, so I really had to dig deep to work in the fact that the Enamel Ghost's blessings ensured that my mathematical models were always 100% accurate. It's sort of my main selling point.
4) Did you bring up the animal teeth more than once?
A) No, not really. I mentioned it in passing and really wanted to get on with answering the more technical questions.
B) Big time. The only way I can do mental math is by picture each number as a number of teeth. Like, 11 rat molars times 12 tortoise canine teeth makes 132! If I try to do it normally, He Of Whom We Gnash (forever reigns its Dental Holiness) isn't channeled into my brain well enough.
Results:
Mostly A's: Yes! You're fine. Don't worry about this potentially awkward detail. It's little quirks like these that can actually make you stand out against all the other applicants! Enjoy your job offer when it inevitably comes.
Mostly B’s: Hell yes. Job well done! There’s no way your recruiter will not want you or your supernatural control over numbers, for the One Great Chewer Of All, the Enamel Ghost, smiles upon you. As the old saying goes, “Arranging animal teeth in particular patterns about your room is close to godliness.” You’ll definitely get an offer. And if they turn you down, well, they better be ready for some calcium-fueled revenge curses to haunt their client meetings for decades to come.