SatireV

Breaking

and entering

Consulting

QUIZ: Should You Have Brought Up Your Extensive Animal Tooth Collection in Your Case Interview?

shark teeth

1) How many animal teeth did you admit to owning?

A) Only two. I said they were shark teeth that I got on a family vacation to Ocean City, MD last year.
B) Several hundred. I also mentioned how I had them variously stashed around my room: a handful of zebra incisors on my desk, a dozen or so cobra fangs in the closet, and -- get this -- a full set of bear teeth in the top drawer of my nightstand. I know, my setup is pretty badass.

2) How did your interviewer react when you brought up the animal teeth?

Jaded Student Realizes Consulting Just Advanced Googling

A Google search bar with "how to become a consultant" typed into it
CAMBRIDGE, MA — After lining up a post-graduation job at renowned management consulting firm McKinsey & Company, Harvard senior Rakash Bagari '18 recently had the world-shattering realization that consulting is just advanced Googling.
 
The revelation came to Bagari when he tried explaining to his family what exactly a career in management consulting would entail. While recounting the countless hours he spent researching synergistic and cost effective management solutions, he wondered, “Couldn’t anyone have just, like, typed that into Google?”
 

Michael Sandel Offers Course to Future Consultants' Former Souls

CAMBRIDGE, MA-- Michael Sandel, the Anne T. and Robert M. Bass Professor of Government, announced Thursday that he will offer a course to the former souls of future consultants.
 
Sandel, who formerly taught "Justice" and now teaches "Money, Markets, and Morals", will begin offering a course titled "Ethical Reasoning 66: Effective Altruism's Effects" this fall to help sold-out souls cope.
 

High Schooler Founder of Whale Conservation Campaign Attends Ninth Consulting Event

NEW YORK – Harry Talenschmidt who, as a junior in high school, founded and led the popular World Wide Whale project, has just attended his ninth consulting event during his junior year in college.