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“Is it Quid-Pro-Quo if My Hot TF Is On Strike?”: A Legal Analysis

Respondents agree that there's nothing sexier than unionizing.

As the Harvard Graduate Students Union escalates towards calling a strike of its workers, our legal team has gotten dozens of questions regarding the ramifications a possible strike would have on the sexual relations between undergraduate students and the student workers who lead their classes. “Is it quid-pro-quo if my hot TF on strike?” students have asked, their voices dripping with the lustful frustration of crushes stifled by a Title IX policy that strongly discourages romantic engagement between students and the people grading their work, leading their sections, and sexily living off-campus leading their own independent lives. 

While we were originally prepared to answer questions about the legal standing of a strike in the broader context of the Trump National Labor Relations Board’s current anti-union policy, the only question that seems to motivating undergraduates who write our office is whether or not the strike impacts their fantasies of hooking up with their “suuuuper hot TF who can only be like 6 years older than me at max… right?”

“Okay, okay, okay, hear me out on this one,” one anonymous question began, “I obviously could never get with Kris without this whole strike thing going on. But now that he is strategically withholding his labor in an effort to pressure the University administration to budge on key issues like wages, a third party grievance procedure for accusations of sexual assault and harassment, and a more complete healthcare package… aren’t all conflicts of interest and power dynamics gone? Like, should I ask him out? Could we fuck? Help me out here!”

Legally, this logic has no merit. The Taft-Hartley Labor Act of 1947, while ambiguous on the issue of Graduate Student Unionization, clearly states that when on strike, all problematic power dynamics and general feelings of “just wrongness” associated with fucking a TF “are obviously still totally there.” 

For questions regarding how a possible strike could affect how quickly undergraduates will get their grades back, we strongly recommend trying to support yourself for between 4-8 years while teaching at the world’s richest university with little institutional support, insufficient pay, and a broken system in place for reporting discrimination or sexual misconduct in the worldplace and then check back in and tell us how much that single grade in your Gen-Ed actually matters.


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