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Area Student Unwraps Cookie Very Very Loudly

C is for CAN YOU NOT RIGHT NOW

Cambridge, MA — Glancing up nervously every now and then, area section kid Marc Teller was reportedly attempting to remove a chocolate chip cookie from its stubborn plastic wrapper. “You wouldn’t believe the looks I was getting from the nine other people in my ten-person Tuesdays at 3 SLS20 section. I always get a hankering for something sweet around two or three in the afternoon. It’s not my fault that my Psych section happens to coincide with my insatiable daily desire for sugar, said Teller, holding his breath as he proceeded to gingerly tear into the transparent plastic wrapper piece by piece.  “Look, I’m not out to make any enemies. I’m just a simple guy who needs a pick-me-up on Tuesdays at 3. Anyways, I’m pretty sure nobody even noticed,” Teller told reporters proudly. “Yeah, we all noticed. And maybe it would’ve been okay if he had just ripped the damn thing off all in one go. But no, that little fucker was going piece by piece. I swear I had just recovered from the last crinkle when BAM he starts working on another section, and would you look at that, I’ve missed the scintillating intricacies of Pavlov’s experiments and classical conditioning,” grumbled one disgruntled student. At press time, sources reported seeing Teller fishing a King-Size Kit Kat from his backpack just as he was finishing off the cookie. 

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