and entering

Dean Khurana Responds to White Nationalists' Threats

You could use some more reflection in your lives, but I would avoid mirrors so as not to frighten yourselves.
Dear White Nationalists,
I hope all of you have had a restorative holiday season, full of family, friends, and plenty of good books! I spent much of the break reading, myself.
Having said that, I cannot keep up this nice façade for long; no more mister nice dean! You are a bunch of downright mean people.
This past week, some of you white nationalists targeted me for my support of undocumented students. I want you to know that I am proud to support these students, and will continue to do so. However, I also want you to take a moment to reflect on your abhorrent ideology. We all have busy routines, and sometimes we don't have time to stop and think about just how disgusting our core beliefs really are.
I've been doing some reflecting since you threatened me. I've been reflecting on how successful I am: Dean of Harvard College, Marvin Bower Professor of Leadership Development at Harvard Business School, husband to a wonderful wife, and father to three lovely children. You, however, are a bunch of losers hiding behind the anonymity of the Internet and motivated by a bankrupt belief system that is represented by an animated frog.
I don't want you to take this personally, as personal attacks go against my philosophy of life. However, in general, all of you can go eff yourselves.
Your threats demand not just words, but actions. That is why I have decided to form a special committee to investigate whether white nationalists are joyless sadboys who brandish ill-fitting trucker hats and Tweet from their parents' basements. Oh, wait, would you look at that? The committee has already made a recommendation, and that recommendation is to GO EFF YOURSELVES!
I hope you have enjoyed reflecting on your worthlessness. I know I have!
Not at all warmly,
Rakesh Khurana
© 2017